Let's start with the bad news: You're on the road to divorce.But the good news is that romance, love and, yes, even marriage doesn't need to end with divorce.There is no better way to lose custody than to demonstrate to a judge that you are simply not involved in raising your child. Not being active in your child's schedule and activities: Do you know the names of your child's teachers?Have you ever supervised your child on a play date or taken your child to the doctor?In fact, a survey of 2,000 newly divorced people found that nearly 50 percent of divorced men were eager to get remarried, and 20 percent of divorced women were hoping to repeat their trip down the aisle.That's inspiring news for everyone hoping to be hit by Cupid's arrow once again. While it may indeed be true that "all's fair in love," a little common sense doesn't hurt either.the other parent) is the primary caretaker, not you. Not addressing alcohol, drugs, or other parental fitness issues: A parent who even casually partakes in alcohol and/or drugs will have a problem winning custody.Most judges will take allegations of substance abuse seriously, and these allegations will be investigated thoroughly via random testing, psychological evaluations, and interviews.
While the reason for this higher divorce rate is unknown, it could be that some of these second marriages got off to a rocky start, because the ex-spouses didn't deal with the emotional impact of their divorce, and aren't really ready for another relationship -- at least, not yet. And I have even helped many through the more peaceful and amicable process of divorce mediation, which can save everyone a great deal of time, stress and money. You also want to be able to devote your time and attention to your divorce, because the decisions you make during this time will affect you for years to come.In light of these experiences, here's my compassionate and informed advice if you're thinking about jumping back into the dating scene, and perhaps even if you hear wedding bells ringing in your near future: • If you've started your divorce process, honestly evaluate how your separation or divorce is going. Further, consider how your spouse may react when he or she finds out you're dating.The parent who is the most involved in the children's daily lives usually has the edge in a custody case.Therefore, if you are not putting in the time to do homework with your child, feeding, bathing, reading, taking him or her to the bus stop, you are at a disadvantage in a custody case.Also, custody and parenting may be negatively impacted if your new boyfriend or girlfriend has a questionable past.This can further complicate the divorce process and significantly increase your legal fees if the focus becomes this new person, instead of you and your own divorce.If you are a parent and you want to win custody, steer clear of the following: 1.Not being the primary caretaker: In most households, one parent is most responsible for caring for the children's basic needs -- the so called primary caretaker.As a matrimonial law attorney who regularly represents mothers and fathers in contested divorce trials, I have very some straight forward advice for parents going through divorce, and who are contemplating a custody action.More than ever, I am counseling mothers on how to rights.