Dating someone with a broken heart
They told me to do things like sit quietly at home, alone, and allow myself to feel the pain rather than continuing to avoid it by going out.
I needed to invite it in for as long as it took to heal.
I was present in body, of course, but not in spirit.But I was still addicted to the notion that the only way to make myself feel better was to find someone new.I clung to the foolish idea that a new woman could make my sorrow disappear, so I went on a few more disastrous dates.I cooked terrific dinners for myself and ate them slowly and appreciatively. On the plus side, I developed skills that have subsequently helped me in relationships with both women and men.I've become a better listener, and I no longer feel I have to fix anyone's problems. Trying to date immediately after a relationship ends is ill-advised.While it may be what we are instinctively inclined to do, dating before you are emotionally ready is a recipe for disaster. You're likely to feel awkward, unhappy, anxious and numb — and who wants to date that person?In time, I realized that ignoring my feelings had just kept the pain alive.My mantra became "Don't think, feel." To my surprise, and great relief, after several months my spirits began to rise.I felt proud that I could answer her question with something substantive.Most men I knew didn't take time between relationships.